I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
