JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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