i need an iv and a liver transplant
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
