Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
