Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
