Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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