wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize