I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
