I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
