I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
