so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
