Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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