The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
