ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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