You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize