It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
