So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
