so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
