I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
