How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
false alarm. still invincible.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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