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Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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