Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

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(224): View more from Illinois

i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.

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(303): View more from Colorado

she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper

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(503): View more from Oregon

If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok

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(314): View more from Missouri

I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I need vitamin water and Jesus :/

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(812): View more from Indiana

He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this

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