I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
