doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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