I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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