Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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