I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
