fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
