she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
