Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
