? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
