Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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