Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
