evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
