She said her name was "party"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
