Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
