Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Everclear isn't food dammit
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
