I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
