I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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