i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
