I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
