We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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