Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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