I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
