i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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