I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
