Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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