My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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