Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
