After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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