i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
