her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
