Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've blown a few things in my day
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
