if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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