tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
