I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
