It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
