So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
