The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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