; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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