we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
