Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
