nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize