NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize