He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
