He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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