You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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