SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize